I came upon him from far, far away, but there was something wrong.  His clothes hung at strange, awkward angles, the shape of his legs didn't curve in the right spot, and it just felt... different.  A voice fills the air behind me; I turn, but no one's there.  And when I turn back, he's gone... if it was him.

I dreamt about him again, except this time, we actually talked -- a real conversation.  Not "real" real... just an actual conversation.  In real life, I wish this could happen, but this isn't possible.  Why?  No one else has ever seen him...

Be seeing you...

I put away a couple of condoms in a "safe" place, but now I cannot find them!! How can I make my silly yet obscene balloon animals now?!  And also, have people smuggle things for me?

Say si fei bastard, your face is like someone smashed it through a screen door.  I am going low and attacking your looks, but who the fuck cares you're obviously used to that sort of shit hitting your face.

Yeah, fuck you, too.

OMG, Jay, you pussy, it is unnecessary because it still makes sense without your useless annotation.  It is superfluous because it's not possible to take it out of context without an explanation, unless you are dumber than a bag of rocks. (See what I did there? Or are you too busy in your hovel scribbling out crap most people won't notice to recognize it?) If it's so fucking important to you, why don't you go back and include redundant write up for all of them by spending all your time thinking up something that is as long or longer than what you're describing.  It's not a novel, for chrissakes.  I've been doing this for years, and there've been no complaints.  I do explain, but only when it was absolutely necessary, and THE UNIVERSE HAS YET TO COLLAPSE ON ITSELF.  Slag off, please.

Hey, you called me, why the hell are you greeting me?  Tell me who you're looking for so I can tell you that you called the wrong number and that'll be that.  But no, I say hello and you parrot hello and I go hello, because what else am I supposed to say?  "Who is this?"  "This is X."  "I think you have the wrong number."  Hang up.  Hello; Hello can I speak to Z please; You have the wrong number = much more efficient, not to mention it doesn't make you look like a dumbass.  Why do all my wrong numbers act this way????  Is it a conspiracy??  At least the Knitting Factory folks ask if it's the Knitting Factory instead of being a retard.

shut the fuck up you stupid bitch why don't you go back to your fucking hole and die i hate you more than life itself and i want you to die tomorrow i don't care if you do i won't regret it TRUST ME you are a fucking bitch and deserve to die you stupid cunt i wish you would fall off a mountainside and get eaten by a goat you slag why don't you eat rat poison and throw yourself off the roof too you cunt why don't you do something useful you bitch instead of running your stank mouth I'LL HATE YOU FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE EVEN AFTER YOU DIE FUCKING ASSHOLE I WILL DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE

Some people are fucking idiots.  "What did he say?"  "Did anyone hear what he said?"  "I didn't hear it the first time, but..."  UH, HAVE YOU HEARD OF CLOSED CAPTIONING????  Yeah, so quit complaining.  Retards.